HeyYouLittleCat

Miiiiiiiidniiiiight...Not a sound from the paaaaaaaaaaaaveeeeemeeeent....
Has the moon lost her mem'ry....She is...where IS Pusa?  Still no sign of the orange cat, but HeyYouLittleCat a.k.a. HeyYou has made his appearance...

HeyYou

After making a meal of a chicken wing I kept aside for him, the kitten made himself comfortable and sat with me for a few. Still no sign of Pusa.  I refuse to think too much about where she really might be and hold fast to the idea of Causality.  No connection between the disturbing sound I heard last night and Pusa's absence. None. My mom says people here would not dare do anything rash given that they know I'm likely to report any incident that involves animal abuse, cruelty or torture. Sigh.  Whatever. 
Tomorrow morning, I've a doctor's appointment, Wee! Not.  Well, I don't expect it to be SO bad, since it's only a check up. I am not thinking that the doctor will require a whole battery of blood tests like the last time, and even if she does, likely that it can wait until my next check-up. I'm even confident that my blood pressure (which has been low over the last few months) would have inched its way up by now, given the amount of salty food that I've been taking - yes, what a convenient excuse! Haha.
The weekend will see me heading off to The Sticks (Victoria, Laguna) where we keep a house tucked away at the end of a paved road going to nowhere - okay, I've been told it goes off into the Laguna Lake somewhere, to be truthful about it, but I have personally never ventured further than the gates of the house to really know that for sure. I'll take them at their word on this. :-)
Not that I haven't a sense of adventure. I just get...Lazy.  And during the time that they went beyond the gates, I was not well enough to actually walk very far.  I think though, had my Mini-Schnauzer Gustav not gone to Doggie Heaven so soon, He and I would take the walk to the end of the road. Now I'm just not in the mood to even contemplate it.
However! Being out in the sticks will allow me writing time - which - Seems easier there, somehow - the quiet, the ambience, surrounded by trees, a cooler breeze (read: No neighbors belting horrible Videoke at 9 freakin' o'clock in the morning! I kid you not.  If more people were as punctual at work than my neighbors are at Videoke time, this country would be more progressive. Okay, it will take more than punctuality to make this country a better place, but...Let's not go there right now. haha)
I don't know now if this post counts as the daily post for Saturday, since it IS early Saturday morning, and I expect I shan't be able to post as frequently during the week that I'm out in the sticks. Let's wait and see.
In the meantime, Pusa is probably sipping a Strawbery Margarita by a pool somewhere, with her paws up, being served foie gras and caviar with fresh milk in a golden bowl. Let's hope so.
As for HeyYou, it is an evening's respite. Safe.  Alive. For now.

HeyYou @ rest

No Sign can be a Bad Sign...

We all, at some point have heard or said "No News is Good News".
Not so in this case.
I'm afraid the feline friends have met a most unfortunate end.

Pusa  & HeyYou (the kitten)

I know and have re-read the Wikipedia definition of Causality in order to calm my nerves - less stressful on my liver compared to popping a fourth of my anti-anxiety pill.  So far, it isn't working as well as a pill would.
It was extra laborious to roll out of bed today.  But hey! I got up and out of bed and even managed to shower already! wow, major feat for the day, accomplished.  Now I've to go over and work on write-ups for a jewelry site.
It's something my mom has been busy with - wired jewelry - and considering I'm not into the frills, i think the designs are quite fantastic!  
working on the descriptions for the various pieces as the photos have been uploaded already.  you can check out :  

http://silverboxtreasures.weebly.com/index.html

I've still to continue on the write ups as I'm figuring out which pieces are made of what healing crystal, be sure to check back and visit as the information is updated!  Yes, each piece is made by hand! 
here are samples: 

Turquoise & Shale paired set

rainbow chips, paired set

My fine-motor skills and hand eye coordination isn't worth its salt when it comes to making these pieces... I can only play billiards and manage a game of Bejeweled - so I am fascinated how the beads and wire turn into works that look so pretty!  I've tried to sit and watch her do these projects, but nothing sinks in, apart from the - how do you figure out which bead goes where? and how do you secure the necklace?  In other words, it's simpler to just order the jewelry than to make it myself. haha.  *shameless plug*

Rose Quartz Bracelet with stainless accent

Tiger Eye Chips with Tumblestone Accent

Now, back to what has been bothering me today.  
There seems to me, an air of emptiness at the Fire Escape today.  Strange what a difference not having the strays around makes.  I suppose you could say, it was something I got used to - having them loitering whilst I drank my afternoon (or evening) coffee. Hmmmmm. Odd.
Last night, HeyYou was still there.  Today, neither cat were in attendance. Something is amiss, I tell you! I feel like a tree falling in the woods with no one there to hear the sound of it.  
I should really get to those jewelry write-ups now...but first...
I'm taking a pill. 

On Fate, The Acceptance Thereof (or did I mean Faith?)

It's odd, the things that compel me to write again so soon.


1. An email I just read from a friend.


2. A disquieting (yes perhaps paranoid of me, but warranted) notion that I shall never again see one of the resident cats here at the condo where I live. Pusa may have met a horrible end tonight. =(


Both have to do with fate.  Either you accept things as they are or make it harder for yourself.


Not that the email had anything to do with MY fate per se, but my friend had mentioned accepting it and having to just accept things and deal with things as they come.


The thing about being human, I suppose is that, for all the complexity and drama, not to mention intelligence that we are awarded (some more than others, some less - yes, i just HAD to say that) - We are driven by the same basic things ego tells us to fear, love, hate, etc.  
Yes, we are sentient beings, we think (maybe sometimes a bit too much?) but we also more often feel.   Anger, pity, love, scorn, passion, compassion.  Our egos have become so powerful that it seems like we've developed a co-dependent relationship with - The ME that we'd like to think we are and the me that we want everyone else to see.


Is there a difference, you may ask?


My answer - a shrug and a non-committal - most likely.


I'd like to think that there is more to life than just the usual rat-race and that it IS possible to just BE.  But what of those who have mouths to feed? Children to send to school? Medication to purchase? Those who have jobs but don't make enough to pay for fare to get to work or gas up their cars?  What of those who stand up for their rights and are denied justice, are detained or become part of those who are accosted by the authorities and just "disappear"?  What of the many stray animals who wander the streets of the city - looking for scraps of food, given or stolen, who, if unluckily enough end up as roadkill or pulutan (the term for appetizers or food for those who drink alcoholic beverages) or, considered "vermin" and are summarily executed?  


1. The email - Much as I miss (and have taken for granted) the art of letter-writing, I confess I enjoy the ease afforded by correspondence via e-mail.  It's easy, fast and instant.  Communications made, ties mended or broken all without having to head to the post office to purchase a stamp and mail someone a letter.  For this, all one needs is an active account and a functional internet connection. (obviously also a computer even at an internet cafe - in which to access this account, for those who don't have computers at home)
I am confident though, that actual handwritten and posted, hand delivered missives will still be sent and received for as long as there are those who still send cards, postcards and actual letters. Hey! Not EVERYONE has an email account or knows how to use the internet yet.
In 2011, I hope to send those important to me an actual (read: handwritten) letter.  It should be a nice break from the usual bills or disconnection notices. ;-) haha.

2.  The cat, Pusa.  In late 2009, an orange stray cat has started sitting with me out on the Fire Escape.  In an effort not to become attached to it, i refused to name it and just called it "Pusa". 
In hindsight, this effort seems to be in vain as I have been accused by my mother of spoiling it - taking out bits of left-overs and sometimes setting aside portions of food just to have something to give it.  In the last few weeks, Pusa has been coming up together with a grey and white kitten - whom I also refuse to get too attached to, so I started calling it HeyYou.
At approximately half-past ten in the evening of February 3, I was sitting out on the Fire Escape.  Some ten or so minutes later, I hear a muffled cry from somewhere downstairs which - disturbingly enough, seemed like a cat who was just struck.  But not for so long as for me to be sure that any actual violence had occurred.  My heart stopped for a beat.  I had seen Pusa and HeyYou just minutes before that and now they are both strangely absent from the fire escape.  I linger a bit longer as my coffee started to grow cold.  Some five minutes later, HeyYou comes skittering up the stairs.  I feed it left-over hamburger.  No sign of Pusa.

My anxiety grows, but I am refusing to fuel my worst fears.  Over and over again, reminding myself of the philosophers who say there can be no proof that one cause is the effect of something that has occurred. Was it Hume who, speaking of Causality who said - we could NOT perceive cause and effect.  If I will lull myself into a form of complacency for this evening, then I'm willing to buy this theory.  My peace of mind depends on it.


Note: This condo has (for me) a history of not abiding by the Humane Treatment of animals, I've actually called in police to investigate the killing of a dog here sometime in 2010.  I'm surprised they've let Pusa loiter around the premises for as long as they have. Sigh.


Must I just resign myself to thinking that Pusa just went "on vacation" in case I never see him again?  Is that the fate of the cat i'm preparing in my head despite all the sordid scenarios I might have concocted in my head?


Is it my fate to just pop an anti-anxiety pill when I feel my nerves getting the better of me or take a pill to get to sleep or choose to tire myself so I don't stay up all night?  


I start to pray silently to whatever Greater Being is out there. Let the cat be okay.  Let the people who have battles to wage be strong.  Let those who  know better, do better, be better.


It is a relatively uneventful day as yet.  But I am filled with a strange sense of dread just the same.   


I often say - The Universe Has A Plan! Well, I sure hope there's more than one.


There HAS to be.